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Bastard Sky

by Amends

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1.
Waiting 01:46
Too many secrets. Too many things you don’t care to say. Too many things you still don’t know. There’s just too many things that you could have been, that you’ll never be, and places that you’ll never go. There’s too many things you still wait for. Its like all of your hopes have been shipped back home, but you arrived, and its been days. No tell tale signs, no heart inside, no soul to keep. So you wait and you wait, and just keep waiting for something better to come.
2.
Change Today 01:56
Take a moment of this time to dig yourself out. Make a difference, try to change today, if it’s only for yourself. All I ever hear from you is such bitterness. You would rant and rave of all you hate, but it’s all the same, and it will never be different. Until you block it out, or follow through on what you say. I know that times are tough, but stop thinking that way. Detach yourself, set new goals, break free from the past, and change today. Just set yourself apart. Burn some bridges, and build some fences, just separate yourself and rise above.
3.
Give More 02:03
I wonder how you could get by because you contribute nothing. What do you think when you talk down to me? It’s true we let people know how we want to be treated. I chose not to acknowledge you, and I hope you learn that you will never control me. Really what I’m trying to convey is that you are nothing, that you are dead to me. You’re a waste of space, a coward, a stagnant piece of life and mine’s in constant motion. I try to give back for the benefit of myself, the things I do, and the people I love. If I can’t give more tomorrow then what’s the point today? Life is about progressing, not maintaining.
4.
Rotting Out 02:23
Buried beneath the wreckage, you find me there, I’m rotting out. I’ve clawed at the walls of solitude, and routinely made the same mistakes. I walk where all men have, but no one dared to stay. Every time I’ve try to leave, my lack of courage, it keeps me in my place. So follow me right now, follow my every word, and you will find me here, under a vast dim sky, writing about: Hope, a promise of a better day, of a better life, a life that I should have, or a life that could be mine. Because it’s all my choice, it’s all in my mind, but I choose to stay in this absorbed life.
5.
Dig deeper than ever before, to become now, who I’m supposed to be. I’ve always followed in a narrow path, in the footsteps of those who failed before me. Where every day is another stride, another step closer until the day we die. So every day Ive wondered why, I have to reach my goals by the time I die. “It’s not the life we want just the life we have.” When we claimed to seize the day, we just followed the path. Just one foot in front of the other until your out of time, just one day to pass another, as we lose to the daily grind. Now every single day is the same in your worthless life. I don’t want to walk that path, that life is not mine.
6.
Lately it seems, that I write the same things. All with the same themes, but I still wonder why I need this more than ever as the rest of life goes on. I get stuck here waiting for my next shot to come. If I had larger aspirations I could been something more. I always did that little extra, I just do less than before. I don’t want to keep searching for my way out. I don’t want to keep waiting with my hands out. This means as much to me, as it once did, and I need to give this everything, so the best days, of my life wont my life won’t pass me by. No they won’t pass me by. We the poets, are like pilots, we descend only to ascend again.

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released December 31, 2010

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Amends Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania

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